Pieces of Me

“I’m having a birthday party at my house…a pool party…make sure your moms call my mom so she knows who all is coming.” I stood there, in the hallway at my elementary school while she passed out the invitations. One by one, all our friends were invited. All our friends…but me. It was in that instant that I consciously decided the person that I would and would not be - forever. I realized that sometimes we can cause crushing grief to another with either a conscious on unconscious action. I vowed that I would never knowingly inflict that kind of pain on another.

I know it sounds a little strange to start the self-actualization process in the fourth grade, but as the twin of a mentally retarded and autistic brother, I was privy to a lot of ‘humanity’ early on. I spent a lot of time observing and analyzing behavior…trying desperately to make sense of it all.

When I was about thirteen, I found a poem that spoke to me. It asked the question ‘who will you be in this life?’ Will you be the kind of person that builds things up, or tears them down? During adolescence, there is certainly a lot of tearing down that occurs and again, I decided I would be the type of person that builds things up. I just couldn’t see living a life of stirring the pot.

During high school and then into college I decided not only would I not do harm to another person, but I would try to make every moment with them the only moment that mattered. Other people are so very important to me, and what others have to share is priceless. I love to listen to my friends and I value our differences as much as our similarities. We miss so much if we don’t take the time to scratch beyond the surface.

During college, with my father’s ailing health and us moving away from our hometown, I began the process of actively appreciating life…not taking a day with another for granted or anything for granted for that matter. This goes for appreciating the inherent beauty in a sunset, a tear, an emotion, the turn of a phrase, laughter. This is not to say that I’m not above getting caught up in life’s little annoyances. Rather, I operate under the assumption that life is good, people are good, and in any given situation, my glass is half full. I try and live in the moments that make up our lives …be really…present.

I believe we are here to serve each other, to do what we can to make other’s lives better. I try to be as open and as giving as possible with all of my friends. Once I’m your friend, there isn’t much I won’t do for you.

I feel so very fortunate to have such terrific friends, both old and new. Recently, I’ve had three “old” yet new friends, who have touched my life, each in their own way. One, shared a story about how I offered them support during a difficult time over 23 years ago. I had forgotten that I had done so, but they hadn’t. Furthermore, they were generous enough to remind and thank me – and for that, I’ll always be grateful. The other, has recognized a desire in me to write and encouraged me to start this blog. A writer himself, he’s serving as a mentor, and without that encouragement, I never would have tried my hand. The third, is someone I admire for their fortitude through difficult times and their unreal ability to listen and encourage. Their support has filled my heart up and blesses me each and every day.

These various pieces of me have served me well through the years, as they served my father well during his lifetime. He had over 300 people attend his calling hours, and every one of them – every one – had a story about how he personally touched their lives. And it wasn’t the general, “he was a great guy.” It was “he was a great guy and here’s exactly how he touched my life…”.

I can only hope that, when all is said and done, I’ll have someone say that to my children about me…